{"id":223,"date":"2014-06-03T21:46:04","date_gmt":"2014-06-03T21:46:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweetdannij.wordpress.com\/?p=223"},"modified":"2014-06-03T21:46:04","modified_gmt":"2014-06-03T21:46:04","slug":"one-day-im-going-to-write-a-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/?p=223","title":{"rendered":"One Day I’m Going to Write a Book"},"content":{"rendered":"

Flush! Rattle, Rattle, Rattle. \u00a0Click-Squeak!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My office sits directly above the men’s bathroom. \u00a0Therefore, I am the first point of contact whenever anyone is experiencing a bowel movement crisis. \u00a0In addition, because the smell instantly travels up through stainless steel pipes and seeps through the hardwood floors, I receive the first smell-ification that the crisis is over. \u00a0I swear the smells sometime come into my office like smoke signals. \u00a0From the adjoining room, I hear the Febreeze being sprayed. \u00a0Being that Salina’s office is attached to my office, she is also attached to the unpleasantries. \u00a0Beep!\u00a0<\/em> My intercom sounds from an inter-office call.<\/p>\n

“Ms. James. \u00a0Can you please come down to my office?”<\/em>\u00a0Mr. Howell asks.<\/p>\n

“Because…”<\/i> I beep in to his intercom and ask.<\/p>\n

“Because<\/em> (he rings back) I need for you to take a look at something.”<\/em><\/p>\n

I get up from my desk. \u00a0Roll my eyes, shaking my head at Salina who is hovered over, holding her stomach, quietly laughing out loud as I drag by and walk out of the door to begin my walk of doom.<\/p>\n

Mr. \u00a0Howell really is not a horrible man. \u00a0His main issue is that of insecurity between he and his wife and his dire desperation for attention. I’ve never wanted a man like that or any friend around like that for that matter. \u00a0I kind of understand. \u00a0Sure. \u00a0Ms. Howell is\u00a0the<\/em> most sought after attorney is South Georgia. \u00a0Sure. \u00a0Ms. Howell is the HOTTEST attorney and winner of Ms. Taliaferro 2003.<\/em>\u00a0But, to give Mr. Howell credit, HE was the one who\u00a0fathered\u00a0the now-illegitimate, secret-not-so-secret son. \u00a0They say a baby will sometimes save a marriage. \u00a0I suppose they meant when you have a baby WITHIN the marriage–with each other. \u00a0The child accomplished Mr. Howell’s goal, though. \u00a0Mr. Howell wanted more attention from Ms. Howell–he darn sure got her attention. \u00a0She watches him day and night. \u00a0And, since she makes the money and controls the money, and is paying the child support for the little bundle of joy,\u00a0MISTER<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0Howell makes no move without the prior consent and authorization of MISSUS<\/strong><\/em> Howell.<\/p>\n

I promise..one day, I’m going to write a book about my life in this office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Flush! Rattle, Rattle, Rattle. \u00a0Click-Squeak!\u00a0 My office sits directly above the men’s bathroom. \u00a0Therefore, I am the first point of contact whenever anyone is experiencing a bowel movement crisis. \u00a0In addition, because the smell instantly travels up through stainless steel pipes and seeps through the hardwood floors, I receive the first smell-ification that the crisis […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[6,8,10,12,13,14,18,23,70,32,33,35,36],"class_list":["post-223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-memoirs-of-a-paralegal","tag-court-tv-online-drama","tag-drama","tag-howell","tag-keith","tag-knotch","tag-law","tag-legal","tag-legal-soap-opera","tag-memoirs-of-a-paralegal","tag-paralegal","tag-salina","tag-soap-opera","tag-sweet-danni-j"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2WTgw-3B","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}