{"id":254,"date":"2014-07-22T09:00:01","date_gmt":"2014-07-22T09:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/?p=254"},"modified":"2014-07-22T19:41:07","modified_gmt":"2014-07-22T23:41:07","slug":"boss-paralegal-counseling-session-price-1-king-sized-kit-kat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/?p=254","title":{"rendered":"Boss-Paralegal Counseling Session. Price–1 King-Sized Kit Kat"},"content":{"rendered":"

I look over at Shondra, relaxing in my over-sized chair in my office. \u00a0There must be something very powerful about this chair. \u00a0Whenever anyone sits down in it, they begin to speak as though I will be able to solve all of their problems. \u00a0It’s almost as if people come in, have a seat and instantly, we are “Paging Dr. Danni.<\/em>” \u00a0I feel for my boss lady, sorta. \u00a0She not only has the cares of her world on her shoulders, but she has the cares of the world around her resting in the palms of her hands, as well. \u00a0Regardless of whether she is stressfree or a worrylord, she still radiates control and poise. \u00a0It is amazing how, even her slouch has a “come hither” appeal to it. \u00a0Wait! \u00a0I’m sounding to girl-crushy. \u00a0Wait! \u00a0Shondra is actually talking about something.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Danni, please.”\u00a0<\/em>Shondra says persistently. \u00a0“I swear. \u00a0Talking to you is like talking to a two-year old child with balloons in her hands, or better yet, a cat with wind blowing and loose grass around.<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“I’m so sorry.” \u00a0<\/em>I say, assuringly. \u00a0“I’m back.”<\/em>\u00a0 To comfort her and guarantee my undivided attention, I turn my chair around, place my hands in my lap and nod, approvingly. \u00a0Yes. \u00a0All attention is now on Shondra Howell…Wait. \u00a0When did I get that spot on the wall? \u00a0Has it always been there? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

“I think I am about to try to rent out Knotch’s space. \u00a0She is rarely here anyways. \u00a0I think it would be more beneficial to utilize the office as a virtual office. \u00a0What do you think? \u00a0I mean, I’m paying for her, anyways. \u00a0So, technically, it’s my office and I can do what I want, right?<\/i>” \u00a0Shondra pauses with a long sigh of discontent and stares up at the ceiling. \u00a0I can tell this is my cue to interject some statement of wisdom.<\/p>\n

“Shondra,” \u00a0<\/em>I say as I turn my eyes and concentration on Shondra from the spot on the wall that turned out to be a small knat-fly. \u00a0I know this because when Shondra sighed in the air, the spot fell, moved or flew away. “I am unsure at what you want me to say. \u00a0It sounds as if you have already gone through the rationalizations on your own. \u00a0True, it is your office. \u00a0True, you have other options available, but I think you are more concerned with looking like the bad guy than actually kicking Carolyn out.<\/em><\/p>\n

Not much is said about Carolyn Knotch. \u00a0She is basically just a title on a door. \u00a0Periodically, she will come in and collect her mail. \u00a0Her office is downstairs. Next door to Keith’s office. \u00a0Periodically, Judge Hambrick will come in and use her office for a meeting or “other” rendezvous. \u00a0Knotch became partner after she helped a Falcon player win custody of his children after he caught his wife cheating with one of the cheerleaders. \u00a0The case practically purchased her office. \u00a0Now, like Keith, Carolyn’s fame is dwindling like residue ice after a snow-storm. \u00a0I am beginning to think the downstairs is for the temp-to-perm positions. \u00a0Outside of Larry Howell, (who, clearly, isn’t going anywhere) any one who comes into this office, with an office downstairs, has one foot in an office and the other in the unemployment office. \u00a0I suppose that is why my office is upstairs–to make it harder for me to leave.<\/p>\n

“That’s why there are so many names in this one-man–or woman–establishment. \u00a0Sure, Carolyn and KEITH had great cases, but they are one-hit wonders. \u00a0Now, they clean up your scraps and you have to work twice as hard to pay for EVERYONE!.”<\/em>\u00a0 God must have deemed this my opportunity for a brief come-to-Jesus meeting–and I am taking IT. \u00a0So, I continue. \u00a0I can tell she is really considering what I am saying. \u00a0It is really resignating with her. \u00a0She’s doing that tongue-in-cheek thing. \u00a0Yet, another thing that makes Shondra awesome. \u00a0Most people fidget when they are nervous, put on the spot or thinking. \u00a0There is a clear, concise tell-tell sign. \u00a0Not Shondra. \u00a0You can barely tell her tongue is in her cheek. \u00a0She basically just rubs the tip of her tongue up and down her lower incisor–subtle and oh so smooth. \u00a0But, since I have her attention, I continue.<\/p>\n

“Shondra. \u00a0The fact is, we can have one hundred different names for this firm–and if you keep at it, we will be there soon”<\/i><\/p>\n

“Shut up”\u00a0<\/em>Shondra interjects while chuckling.<\/p>\n

Laughing with her and thrilled that I lightened the mood, I continue\u00a0“But, no matter whose name is on the front of this building, this is still your firm–without you, we don’t exist. \u00a0I like my premium, Indian weave too much to just let you go, easily. \u00a0Carolyn is different from Keith. \u00a0Keith really wants to make it. \u00a0He is really trying to put forth effort. \u00a0He has no control over the cases, but he does have initiative. \u00a0Now, Carolyn. \u00a0That chick has a rich, Korean short man in her life–this is a hobby, a retired judge-mom and a college Dean as a dad–this place is a hobby. \u00a0She stops in to say that she came, but nothing was there for her–and she leaves. \u00a0You paying for her pit-stop is all you are doing. \u00a0So, yes, I say rent it out as a virtual office. \u00a0Why do you have to tell her? \u00a0Do it for the Vine!<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“You so stupid.<\/em>” \u00a0Shondra says while rising from the chair. \u00a0“I ain’t gone do it. \u00a0LOL! \u00a0I see what you are saying. \u00a0I just hate to feel like I am being taken advantage of. \u00a0I take my job so seriously. \u00a0I can’t imagine being a grown woman depending on everyone else to make my ends meet. \u00a0I thought I saw potential in her. \u00a0I dunno.” \u00a0<\/em>She says while sighing and exiting the office. \u00a0“I guess I have a virtual office for rent. \u00a0You’ll work on that advertisement for me, will you?”<\/em><\/p>\n

“You can count on me!<\/em>” \u00a0I say sarcastically, with a smile and two thumbs up. \u00a0I yell out, \u00a0towards Shondra, who seems to be walking suspicously slow through the vestibu—Roger’s Office.\u00a0“But, keep her name \u00a0on the door and on the building. \u00a0If something happens, we can split the payments three ways. \u00a0Of course, I say three because.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

“Quiet, Danni!” Shondra yells back. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

We are so professional around here. \u00a0I pause and look at the clock. You got to be kidding me! \u00a0Four-fourty-five–Where did my time go?<\/i> \u00a0I look down at my King-sized KitKat.<\/p>\n

One KitKat, one boss-paralegal counseling session–paid in full.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Talking to you is like talking to a two-year old child with balloons in her hands<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[38,4,5,7,8,9,10,12,13,15,16,70,29,32,35,36],"class_list":["post-254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-memoirs-of-a-paralegal","tag-a-sweeter-point-of-you","tag-attorney","tag-attorney-drama","tag-danni-j","tag-drama","tag-entertainment-with-substance","tag-howell","tag-keith","tag-knotch","tag-law-drama","tag-law-office","tag-memoirs-of-a-paralegal","tag-online-drama","tag-paralegal","tag-soap-opera","tag-sweet-danni-j"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2WTgw-46","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=254"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":256,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions\/256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}