For those who know me, I have oftentimes been referred to as…”special.” \u00a0I know it’s my dear friends’ way of finding a politically correct way of telling me that I am indescribably weird.<\/p>\n
For those who also know me and for those who don’t. \u00a0I have been single for over 10 years. \u00a0Sure, I have\u00a0relationed<\/em> a few times, but officially single for a very, very, VERY long time. \u00a0Wait! \u00a0There was a 3-month stint with a wonderful man, but as with references on a job application, anything under six months does not count. \u00a0So, I have been single for an extensive amount of time. \u00a0Not for lack of options, I just want what I want. \u00a0Anyways, I am now in the dating scene, again.<\/p>\n Dating is okay, but we have so many people out here giving relationship advice, and OMG! Relationship advice grow like leaves on pine trees–sometimes one branch has so much advice that it branch falls off the tree and block the entrance to your driveway to home–(a perfect reference considering I had a branch that blocked the driveway for 6 days that I preferred to drive around instead of move). \u00a0Here is a list of just a few rules that I have encountered while on this quest of (titled so eloquently by a best friend) Operation Get a Man on Sweet Danni J!.<\/p>\n Rule 1. \u00a0No house meet and greet on first dates<\/strong><\/p>\n I have several takes on this rule. \u00a0Now, I have one friend who says this rule is a must because if he doesn’t want to pay for dinner, he is not worth keeping around, and he will never take you out. \u00a0The other friend says that if you make it to a house–so close to bed so soon–everything else is irrelevant.<\/p>\n I feel that I care less about the proximity between my feet and a bed, or a couch, or a counter in a kitchen for that matter–NOTHING will happen unless I want it to happen. \u00a0If you think it is THAT easy to get me, that was your first mistake. \u00a0P.S. \u00a0Let’s not forget that, (yet another rule) within the first 10 minutes of dating, I already know what category I want to put you in, (sometimes you may be in multiple) but–nonetheless, I ALREADY know where you are going, and\u00a0THIS\u00a0<\/em>may be MY\u00a0<\/em>test to determine if you remain in a category. \u00a0I may ask myself-he seems sweet and all in a public facility, but is he a gentleman behind closed doors, or will he become my jump drive for when I need to download data.<\/p>\n Rule 2: \u00a0Follow the flow–Never ask too soon about the dynamics of the relationship<\/b><\/p>\n BAY-BEH! \u00a0I don’t know about you, but some people just don’t get certain perks. \u00a0I am (insert chip in mouth) years’ old! \u00a0I don’t want someone who is still in a phase of just dating and chilling with no filter. \u00a0I need to know where, exactly, you are in your relationship status. \u00a0Did you want me here because you saw something that I have that made \u00a0you raise your hand to God and give Him a praise, or did I cause an intellectual intrigue? \u00a0Now, don’t get me wrong. \u00a0I love free meals as much as the next person; however, love is blind, you can’t control what the heart want, fools paradise (I could go on and on with song lyrics–but you catch my drift). I don’t want to feel special just because he makes everyone feel that way. \u00a0How many side chicks have found out they were side chicks, or knew they were side chicks, and saw the man living vicariously on WCW with another chick? \u00a0The only way to avoid the FaceBook –in your face drama–is to know up front. \u00a0Are you Merry-Go-Round dating, or are you on the Ferris Wheel–you are on a bucket with one person looking at the world and the skyline together? \u00a0Just a little nugget–I am EVERYONE’S biggest fan. \u00a0I treat everyone special. \u00a0So, if I treat EVERYONE special, how can you tell if you are REALLY special? \u00a0In addition, do you really think you are the ONLY one following the 10-step dating rules to get the man to engage? \u00a0If everyone is following the rule, who really gets the man?<\/p>\n Rule 3: \u00a03-5 Days between calls<\/strong><\/p>\n No man likes a woman to follow after him. \u00a0He wants a chance to miss you. \u00a0AHAHAHAHAHAH!! BAY-BEH!! \u00a0I got ADHD, you go 3-5 days between calls and I will have lost interest. \u00a0Let me fill you in on a little secret (shhhh! \u00a0Don’t tell anyone.) \u00a0I don’t program any man into my phone until after the third or fourth month. \u00a0I use old text messages to swipe left to message and swipe right to call. \u00a0Until that time, you are a ten-digit-identity place holder. \u00a0Thank God for current caller id app on my Samsung! \u00a0ALSO, I have a 50 minute – 1 hour drive to and from work. \u00a0I go down the list of who I can call and\/or text until I get a response to help pass time away. \u00a0If you don’t answer, I’m not mad, your name is placed back in rotation–TRUST. \u00a0Remember, everyone is special to me, so, when you finally DO get on your 4.5 day and it is time to call me, when I make you feel like I am so excited to hear your voice and talk to you–you feel so special don’t you–but are you?<\/p>\n Rule 4: \u00a0No sex before 3 months (black folks) \/ 6 months (white folks)<\/strong><\/p>\n Christians, church mothers, deacons, elders and youth, please skip forward to Rule 5.<\/p>\n Sex is VERY IMPORTANT to me. \u00a0I am in no mood for my brain to try to convince\u00a0Lucy<\/em> that this is the BEST sex EVER!! \u00a0I have no poker face. \u00a0I will totally lose interest. \u00a0Just as men can lose interest if they get “it” too quickly? \u00a0I WILL lose interest if the sex is horrible! \u00a0I’m sorry, but someone needs to say it! \u00a0Men–I am an over achiever.\u00a0 So, I am not WOWED by the average man. \u00a0This is the only exception to my “everyone is special” rule. \u00a0I remember one dude couldn’t wait to follow the advice of his uncle “Boy, you got to stand up in it!” \u00a0Less than 3-minutes, he was clinching and “standing”–Nig*a sit DOWN!! \u00a0We ain’t there yet. \u00a0Most people stand to be seen, if your presence is not automatically detected, standing ain’t gonna help. \u00a0Men you should know–women have thought like men LONG before Steve Harvey told us to. \u00a0Sex is JUST as important to us as it is to you. \u00a0Yes, we think about it–ALL the time. \u00a0Yes, when we leave a man cooing in fetal position, we call our girls and tell them.<\/p>\n Now, with that all said, if I decide to test the waters before jumping all in–better I do before I jump in and jump right out -frigid, shaking and bitter.<\/p>\n Rule 5: \u00a0He MUST be in church<\/strong><\/p>\n I promise you! \u00a0All hubs for Freak Train USA stop in front of the church house. \u00a0I have met some of the raunchiest men right at the altar–they were working the altar. \u00a0It amazes me how people tend to forget that you are the most vulnerable in your feelings at the church. \u00a0Women go there hoping for a good man to meet her there, and men go to church to prowl on women looking for a man. \u00a0Men and women are looking for each other and NO one is looking for God. \u00a0Deacon SoandSo is in the choir waiting for Missionary Catchall to “Catch the spirit” because when she shouts, her boobs become bobble-heads. \u00a0Meanwhile, Missionary Catchall is sitting waiting for her “spirit of opportunity” so that she can show off her new bra accentuating her booble-head boobs (because she knows the “Deac” is watching).<\/p>\n I say–spirituality not religious conform–believe in SOMETHING. \u00a0Set a foundation of morals and ethical standards and stick with them. \u00a0So, although a man may not break the church doors open every Sunday, this does NOT mean all is lost.<\/p>\n Don’t get me wrong, life MUST have rules. \u00a0Everyone must have a set of laws and boundaries set before you allow people in, up and around your life. \u00a0However, the only absolute to any rule is that there are no absolutes. \u00a0No one should ever fall completely into one category. \u00a0Think of this, if you are able to “get a man” by following these simple rules–without any modification–isn’t that telling you that the man isn’t sincere? \u00a0He is following a script that can be purchased on any book aisle. \u00a0Is that who you want? \u00a0Is that the type of man that a man wants to be? \u00a0I say. \u00a0If I have to play the game to get you, once I do, I’ve won and it’s on to the next game. \u00a0I mean, you were the prize, right? \u00a0Stop judging men based upon skipped steps–We are all individuals and should be treated as such. \u00a0After all, the inability to deviate from the script says more about you than it does someone else.<\/p>\n ~Your Sweet Danni J<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For those who know me, I have oftentimes been referred to as…”special.” \u00a0I know it’s my dear friends’ way of finding a politically correct way of telling me that I am indescribably weird. For those who also know me and for those who don’t. \u00a0I have been single for over 10 years. \u00a0Sure, I have\u00a0relationed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":431,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[41],"tags":[45,46,47,48,44,49,36],"class_list":["post-361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-dating","tag-dating-rules","tag-man-laws","tag-man-rules","tag-relationship-rules","tag-rules-of-women","tag-sweet-danni-j"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/GovernedbyRules.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2WTgw-5P","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=361"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":362,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions\/362"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sweetdannij.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}