Technology, Like Women, Must be Rubbed Before They Turn On
I finally trudge my way to Mr. Howell’s office and stand, intentionally, just at the door not budging inward. “Yes, Sir.” I say with the most disgust and annoyance anyone can utter–but with a smile, of course. Again, I’m not even post-positive that Mr. Howell understands the magnitude of the needy odor that exudes from his […]
One Day I’m Going to Write a Book
Flush! Rattle, Rattle, Rattle. Click-Squeak! My office sits directly above the men’s bathroom. Therefore, I am the first point of contact whenever anyone is experiencing a bowel movement crisis. In addition, because the smell instantly travels up through stainless steel pipes and seeps through the hardwood floors, I receive the first smell-ification that the crisis […]
She Been Drankin’
Click! Click! Click! On my way up to my office, I hear the front door open. As I look over the Victorian cherry oak balcony that curves from top to the bottom step like that of Gone with the Wind, I see a disarrayed, but beautifully familiar face. She stood about 5’4,” slender, but not […]
I can’t miss my Soap Operas
Ring! Ring! You’ve GOT to be kidding me. It’s not like Mr. Howell is so busy as the most overpaid phone operator in the history of mankind, but the phone literally reverberates throughout the entire building. So, I know he has to hear it in the office with him. Ring! Son of a.. “Good Morning. Howell, […]
Now, what’s that number again?
Now that the spider fiasco of 2014 has subsided, I suppose it is time for me to actually do some work. Time I lay my purse down, the phone rings. Ring! Now, I am the Paralegal. The phone chain of command is my assistant, Salina Chavez. Salina has been late so many times, with so […]
Metro Sexuals Don’t Do Spiders.
Traffic is running smoothly. I have my YouVersion King James Version Bible on, reading aloud. Because ye did not sanctify me…The story of Moses always confused me. I could never tell which Lord was coming to speak to Moses and the people. Was it Jesus as our Lord and Savior or Lord–Lord as in our Father Lord? […]
School’s Out for Summer
“Go Get It. Go Get it. Go get it. Go get your blessings. It’s your tiiiiime!” My dreary eyes squint open to look at the mirror fixed on the headboard of the bed of the bedroom suite that I so graciously inherited from my older sister, Sasha, who recently moved in with her well-to-do rich, […]
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